"I'm single because I was born that way." - Mae West

     Hello again everyone! As we all know, this week hosts one of the biggest money making holidays for corporate America, Valentines Day. Although that last sentence might have sounded quite cynical, I am not saying that I oppose the holiday. I would also like to point out that like many other people I know, I will be single during this love-filled time, and I am okay with that.
     I am writing this week's blog about love and whether or not it is necessary to be happy. I will not be interviewing anyone this week because I feel that my readers deserve to know the way I think, and hopefully it will spark a flicker of confidence to either feel strong during a moment of loneliness, or to find the courage needed to pull away from a rugged relationship. Before we begin this week's segment, let me begin by asking you to think of the definition of love. What is it? How is it shown? Is there a difference between loving your partner versus loving your immediate family? If so, what distinctions are there?
     I will not say that I know what love truly is because, as I have stated in previous blogs, I have not lived long enough to experience it fully, but I do love. To me, love is the ability to honestly say that you would give your life for someone else. Some love God, others love their boyfriends. I love my family, and can honestly say that I would risk my life for each and every one of them. Love is knowing that the person is your anchor. They are the strength that keeps you weighed down through your troubles. Love is the ability to be completely honest with the person and for them to feel the same way towards you. Love is knowing that if anyone hurt that person, you would make it your personal task to make them better then go to the person that hurt them and slap said person.  
     I am currently writing this blog in my college's computer lab, and it is taking every ounce of my strength to not break down in front of everyone around me and cry while writing this. I would love to be able to write to you all about my wonderful love life I have with this magical man, but I would be lying. I am alone, and I am okay with that. This is due to my family and friends. All throughout my life, my mother has always said that I would find myself and the right friends and man in college because then I would be on the same intellectual level as them. Thankfully she was right about the friendships (if you are reading this Mom, there ya' go!) and I feel more than blessed to say so. But still, part of me cannot help but feel this sense of yearning for someone to love me on a different level.
     I will not settle for just anyone though, and to my readers who feel the same way, you are not alone you should start to think the same way I do. In order for someone else to truly love you, you must love and respect yourself first. Let's face it, what is more attractive than confidence in a partner? Do not take any guy or girl that comes your way just because they begin to show you even the slightest bit of attention. If they have a personality trait that truly bothers you or scares you, RUN!!!! You do not need anyone but yourself, and trust me, there are plenty of others who are willing to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. To my one friend who is hopefully reading this, she knows who she is, please understand that I love you, and am willing to be your anchor. And to my other readers, the same goes for you as well.
    If there is one thing about myself that I am proud of, it is my strength. I know when I am being mistreated, and although it does not occur too often, I fix it. Here's my secret:
          1. BREATHE (it will be okay)
          2. Do not talk yourself out of saying what you feel
          3. Remember that there is someone to talk to after everything is said and done
          4. Do not drag out an argument, even if it is because the other person is causing it, just say "that is how I feel. Nothing you say will change that. If you truly want me in your life, you will change, I am not."
          5. Stay strong and stay true to yourself. Never conform.

     Love will hurt, but if it does, it is because that person is not good for you. Love is supposed to make you feel complete. If you love yourself, you would never hurt yourself or let anyone hurt you. Let us take the first step in finding happiness. Stay confident because it is worth it in the end, I promise. My life quote is "it must get worse before it gets better" and this simply means that turmoil must exist in your life in order for you to realize what it is and how to make the turmoil disappear. Life is a learning experience, and if you learn properly you will find love. Do not settle. Do not give up. I truly believe you need love in your life to be happy, but it does not have to come from a partner (although I would love one). As of right now, I am content with the true love I receive from my family and friends. And to all of those who support me, thank you. I love you too.

P.S. HERE IS A KISS FROM ME TO YOU :* <3

"My feeling is that labels are for canned food… I am what I am - and I know what I am." - Michael Stipe

     Hello readers! Lets first begin this blog with a questionnaire. Answer honestly and then tell me after this interview if your views have changed or not.

          1. Have you ever watched any shows on beauty pageants such as Toddlers & Tiaras or Kim of Queens?

          2. Do you believe that the contestants are all beauty and no brains?

          3. Would you say that if you were to see a beauty queen walking by you, you would be able to point her out without even thinking twice about it? Why?

     Over the past week I was given the pleasure of interviewing one of my friends from school named Kristen Kowalski. She is 5 feet and 3 inches tall with clear blue eyes and blonde hair. When first meeting her, you would think that she is just a regular girl with the same ambitions of any other college freshman. Kristen is not your ordinary girl though, she is a beauty queen. Actually, she is a National American Miss. Now, if any of you think like me, you would think "but she's short, how is that possible?" Well I am here to inform you that pageantry is not what the media claims it to be, and the girls are normal. 

     Let me begin by saying this; when I first met Kristen we bonded over our love of Dylan O'Brien (and if he is reading this, I love you.) We talked about everything from our reasons why we both aspire to become teachers, to the past season of Teen Wolf. Never once did she mention her state title or bring up the fact that she has a tiara like a real-life princess. Instead, she avoided the topic. Why? It is because she does not want people to pass irrational judgements without getting to know her first. Now that you know a little bit about her, let the interview begin. 

1. Why did you start entering into beauty pageants?

     Kristen: I was a dancer for 14 years, and have been in dance competitions for 7 years. Because of dancing, I injured my knee and was told by the doctor that I had two options, continue dancing for a short amount of time or continue having the ability to walk, so I had to give up dancing. Then in the mail one day, this flyer came in from National American Miss (NAM), offering me free head shots if I entered into this competition. I begged my mom to do this, and so she let me, and I was entered into the competition. The second pageant I was ever in, I won. I was 16 at the time, and I have been in love with it since. 

2. Do you feel that people are quick to pass judgements when you tell them that you are a "beauty queen"?

     Kristen: Absolutely. When I came to college I actually tried to avoid the topic until the person I was talking to, actually got to know me. The thing about pageantry is it gives off this negative mindset to people. Everyone thinks that I am all into myself and that I am conceited and it turns people off. I really am just a regular girl. 

3. How hard is the competition?

    Kristen: The competition is very fierce and most of the girls are very competitive. Like this one girl I competed against actually ripped my dress backstage! She stepped on the back of my dress and ripped my train right before I needed to get on stage for the top 15. I was such a wreck, but I just had to embrace it, so I did. And let me tell you, I was fierce!

4. How do you go ahead and calm yourself down in front of the judges, because you have to get nervous!

    Kristen: Oh I definitely get nervous. I shake my hands constantly back stage and do the High School Musical "MAH MAH MAH" to calm me down! When it comes to the questions, the judges really want to get a sense of who you are. They don't just want the "world peace" answer, they want an educated, honest answer. But they don't want the pageant princess answer either. 

5. Do you think this competition is for everyone or is it for someone with a strong will and confidence?

     Kristen: I do think it takes a special kind of person, however I do think that anyone can compete. You do not need to be a size double 0 and seven feet tall. Pageants are full of different systems, and there is definitely a system for everyone. It definitely does take confidence, but when I first started out, I didn't have that. The pageants helped me mature and grow up. I was 16 when I started, so I was not a toddler in a tiara like on television, but I got through it and beat out the girls who have been doing it since they were able to walk. 

6. Do you have any platforms?

     Kristen: I actually do. I talk to little kids about drug and alcohol awareness. I work along side the DARE program. My father is a school psychologist and he has told me so many horror stories about teenagers who have had accidents from drug and alcohol abuse, and it made me want to make others aware. In high school, I was not the one drinking and getting high every Friday night, I was at home with my dogs. I am very passionate about bringing awareness to my community, and its really cool because the little girls look up to me and say "Oh my God the princess is here!" 

7. If there was one piece of advice you can give to someone what would it be?

     Kristen: I would definitely say to be yourself and rock what you have because no one can change you. At the end of the day the only person that matters is you, and if you're happy than that is all that matters. I was the girl with the security issue, I had a lack of confidence, but I over came that and can honestly say that it is because I have forced myself to accept the fact that this is who I really am, and I am happy with myself. That is all that matters. 

Readers, please look back at the questionnaire I gave you at the beginning of this post and answer them honestly. Did your answers change? While interviewing Kristen, I remembered that when I first met her I did not think she looked like a "beauty queen", I just thought she was beautiful. That is the problem with labels, especially with one as popular as "beauty queen". Labels have derogatory meanings and can hurt people if used wrongfully. Kristen, like many other girls, is beautiful even without the makeup and perfect hair. Beauty comes from within. It comes from strength, confidence and the ability to be genuinely nice and happy around others. Kristen helped me understand that life is filled with people trying to bring you down, but it is up to you to stand for what you believe in and to stay confident in yourself. She is more than just a pretty smile, but a beautiful soul.